Words From Another Mother...

I am almost 8 years old but my brain wants to me much younger.
I live in a world I try to understand, but people don't understand mine.
I try to make friends, I know what to say but my brain doesn't let me.
I want to speak, I know what to say but words do not come out.
My brain is always going, even when I want it to slow down.
I break down and get upset because I cant tell you what hurts, how I feel or what I want.
I know many things, I have an amazing mind but its hard for it to come out.
I feel trapped in my own body, begging for an escape.
Some lights and sounds hurt me because my senses are heightened and go crazy.
My brain doesn't let me grasp the concept of danger, which could hurt me one day.
I make weird noises and people stare, and say mean things to my mom and dad. Its not my fault, I do this to keep my body in sync.
People say I have no feelings and cant express emotion, but that's just not true. I get happy, angry and love just like you.
My Autism gives me gifts too,
I force people to slow down, because the little things in life mean the most.
I make people take time to celebrate even the smallest accomplishments.
I make people did down deep and find strength they never thought they had.
My autism makes people re think their judgments before they judge someone else.
One day, I will win this battle. One day I wont be defined by my autism, my autism will be defined by me.


I felt compelled to write this, its been on my mind the last couple days. I'm not sure why. So many of us take even the smallest things for granted, communicating, friends, and every day "normal" life. As us Autism parents quite often hear "it always could be worse" and that is very true, but our fight is really hard too. There are so many barriers that need broken before we can get to them. Take a minute, think about what it would be like not being able to communicate to anyone, not being able to walk outside of your own, even taking a bath or shower on your own. I know i am guilty of taking these small things for granted. I encourage you all to take time out of your day and celebrate the small things. One thing about Autism i have found is that the smallest things in life are usually the best things.


This was a post that I got from one of my son's former classmates mom. Her son has a more severe case of Autism than my son, but a lot of the feelings that she expresses are the ones that I wish I could have before Johnathan began talking and progressing. My heart breaks for those who encounter things like this on a daily basis, because so many people just don't understand.


Autism is definitely not for the weak...